Toxic Behavior is a Spiritual Matter

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We live in a world defined by excuses.

More than 40 percent of the US population is obese: that is, at least two out of every five people have a Body Mass Index (BMI) of at least 30. With medical and/or drastic genetic factors being reasonably excluded, we make excuses for this startling reality.

“I don’t have time to cook or exercise.” “It’s much easier just to grab something quick most of the time.” “I like the way it tastes.” You name it. While not necessarily classifying as evil, per se, this is certainly a place where excuses are prevalent.

Let’s look at another example, which certainly is evil.

In the US alone, as many as 65 million human beings have been murdered in utero since 1973.[1] People have always aborted their unborn children largely because they don’t believe in the sanctity of life and/or because its “inconvenient” to keep them. Hundreds of thousands of times a year this happens, with virtually all cases being covered by an excuse.

More than that, such acts are not only excused within our dark world but are often celebrated.

However, there may not be anything that is more excused within our societies than bad behavior: toxic behavior, to be exact. As I have explained several times now, toxic personality types—particularly the narcissistic variety—are exploding around us, and they are consistently and increasingly covered with excuses.

“They have destroyed their families because they experienced too much trauma in the past.”

“He cracked my ribs and broke my nose because he had a bad childhood.”

“She cheated on me because she’s lacking the function in a specific part of the brain that effects decision-making.”

While our experiences certainly help to shape our identities and behaviors, they are all too often used to excuse them. Time and time again, children who grew up in the same households—with the same parents, living conditions, environmental conditions, etc.—go on to live different lives than their siblings.

All of us make choices that determine the types of people we will become.

People who grow up in terrible situations can become saints, and people who grow up in loving homes can become the worst sinners. If we are cognitively able, we all make our decisions in life. Much more could be said about this.

However, the main point of this article is to show that toxic behavior is the product of an evil heart condition and not a problem with the brain. Let’s briefly examine my assertion, starting with the brain.

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Brain Problems Aren’t the Cause of Evil Behavior

People with traumatic brain injuries don’t plot evil because of it.

Those born with a mental impairment don’t scheme against others because of it.

Individuals do not plot and carry out evil acts because of a brain impairment.

Let’s just take one part of the brain—the frontal lobe—as an example. Damage to the back part can result in weakness or paralysis. Damage to the middle part can make people apathetic, inattentive, and unmotivated; their thinking would become slower and their response time may be very slow. Damage to the middle back part can cause people to have difficulty expressing themselves in words.

There are many other problems that can be associated with brain dysfunction that would alter one’s behavior. Observe the figure below for a more complete analysis of this.

Indeed, these issues can lead to problems that would affect a person’s personality and behavior. However—and really consider this—none of these impairments lead to the types of behaviors exhibited by toxic individuals.

No, having brain impairments cannot explain these behaviors, and we can be sure of that for one primary reason: they don’t account for intent. That is, toxic individuals plot evil and carry out—with forethought and intentionality—the various things they do to others. Those with brain problems do not; they simply act on impulse. They just “do.”

Think about the people you know with brain impairments. Can they act hyper, snippy, overly cheerful, immature, impatient, extremely docile, and many other things? Without question. But ask yourself: do any of them sit back and scheme evil deeds against those around them? No, they do not. Again, they act on impulse.

But before moving on, let me clarify something: individuals with brain problems—so long as they are not extremely severe—can still plot evil. They are, after all, human beings like the rest of us. They can and often will participate in evil acts, particularly if they have not been redeemed by Jesus Christ.

However, they do not do so because of their impairments. They do so because, like the people and examples I will be sharing, their hearts are corrupt, and they may even be acting under the influence of dark entities.

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The Evidence of Intent

If I am postulating that brain impairments cannot account for the intent behind evil acts, is there any evidence to support this claim? Are there types of actions that clearly prove the intent that I am speaking of?

Indeed, there certainly are. The behaviors below clearly identify acts of intent—behaviors that cannot be accounted for by brain impairments—and they are present in many toxic individuals. As always, I view narcissism as one of the greatest evils of our time, and these practices are especially prominent in those individuals.

However, they can apply to toxic people of all stripes. Observe the behaviors described below and ask yourself if brain impairments would account for them.

#1: Gaslighting

For those who don’t know, gaslighting occurs when someone creates a scenario for the express purpose of causing another person to doubt his or her own reality. Put another way, it causes the person to question their sanity. Over time, this can wreak havoc on the victim of the abuse.

This can be done in many ways, so I will now describe a few.

Say your boss tells you to move to another office because there will be a routine inspection in yours at some point during the week. When you move to the other office, they later berate you for doing so; “I never said anything about changing offices,” they claim. You wonder, did they really tell me to do that?

Imagine that you catch your romantic partner “making eyes” at a stranger during a dinner out. When you ask them what that was about, they give you “word salad” and claim that it didn’t happen; “If you have a question about my behavior then address it more discreetly. The waitress was acting weird with the guy over there, and you were looking at other woman all night last night. I wasn’t making eyes at him.” You wonder, did I really see that happen?

Now, you are looking for your keys that you know were placed in a certain spot earlier that day. You look all over, and numerous times in the spot they were supposed to be. Later that day, your partner “finds them” in the place you have already looked and claims you missed it repeatedly. You wonder, did I really already check there?

These are just a few of the endless examples. Toxic individuals will gaslight their victims frequently, simply to make them question their own reality and disorient them.

#2: Triangulation

Triangulation boils down to what it sounds like: having three people (or things) involved in a given situation, for the purpose of manipulation. This can include more than three, but the bottom line is that the toxic person has brought someone (or something) into your relationship for the very purpose of disrupting you or causing a reaction.

Here are a couple examples.

Take the dinner situation from the gaslighting section. You are at a private dinner out with your significant other, and that person begins to flirt with another person in the vicinity. This creates a situation where there are now three people involved, and you—the person being “triangulated”—is going to feel jealous and potentially outraged. Of course, that was the intent.

Imagine a parent doing this with their children, which happens frequently. Perhaps one child has a friend over for the day. To get under the child’s skin and evoke a response, they may pull the friend into the mix by giving them excessive praise and adoration; “See, your friend behaves so well and is easy to get along with, so why aren’t you?”

Toxic people will almost always triangulate their partners, employees, children, or friends with others. There can be no denying the intent involved in doing so.

#3: Devaluation

Devaluation is the practice of tearing another person down through verbal attacks, insults, gaslighting, and even physical tactics. There are so many ways to do this that showing examples seems virtually pointless, and all of us can understand how this works.

Over the course of time, devaluation—in conjunction with some of the other behaviors mentioned here—destroys the victim’s sense of purpose and self-worth. They become shells of their former selves, often ending up subservient to their abuser. This can also create what is called a “trauma-bond,” wherein the victim cannot break away because they come to see their abuser as both their source of pain and the remedy to it.

Devaluation is an almost constant process of tearing others down over time. One simply cannot do such things without forethought and intentionality. You must consciously attempt to destroy another person in this way.

#4: Wearing a Mask

While this is a hallmark characteristic of narcissists, it can be associated with all manner of toxic individuals. This even includes truly dangerous people, like sociopaths and psychopaths.

When you get down to it, all these are just titles given to describe evil of varying degrees.

However, they typically all share a feature that is best seen by their evil Master: the one who “masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Cor. 11:14). They wear a mask. Toxic people are, by nature, several people rolled into one. To strangers, colleagues, and acquaintances, they appear as warm, gregarious, and even kind-hearted people. To those closest to them and behind closed doors, they are often monsters. It’s not uncommon for toxic people to be highly regarded by those on the “outside,” yet feared by those with whom they share their lives.

This may be the best evidence that toxic behavior is not the product of a brain dysfunction, because the mask can be applied and removed at will. Toxic people can open their front doors and become saints, only to close the door at the end of the day and become demons.

What could be more intentional than that?

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Toxic Behavior is a Spiritual Matter

Many other examples could be mentioned, but these should suffice. In briefly examining the behaviors caused by brain impairments and then evaluating the intentional acts of toxic people, I hope my point is well taken.

Everything involved in this discussion is reducible to one thing: intent.

Those with brain impairments do not plot, scheme, and carry out evil because of their brain impairments. They may do such things (if cognitively able) because of their own evil desires or because of a dark spiritual influence, but not because of their brain condition. In fact, people with brain impairments are often clearly just responding without intentionality or forethought; they simply “do.”

The types of evil displayed by toxic individuals, however, are altogether different. Their behaviors can only be explained by intentionality and forethought. As Psalms 37:12 states:

“The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them.”

The conclusions we can draw from this are both obvious and critical; We must stop giving people a pass for wicked behavior. We must stop making excuses for the malicious acts of toxic individuals.

Friends, these are spiritual matters. In our present time, most everything being classified as “personality disorders” are being misidentified for what they truly are: “spiritual disorders.” Evil people can be seen by the rotten fruit they produce.

Furthermore, there are demonic entities roaming our world and causing the maliciousness we see and experience around us. Toxic people—particularly narcissists along the entire spectrum—are Satan’s foot soldiers.

Be constantly on your guard and test all spirits. Your physical and spiritual well-being will depend upon it.

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For those interested in looking further into the spiritual elements involved in people with “mental health/personality disorder,” please see the articles below.

–Narcissists: Satan’s Foot Soldiers

–A Christian Perspective on Narcissism

–Possession or Mental Disorder?

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[1] 1973 is significant because it was the year that Roe v. Wade was decided, and the Supreme Court ruled that the US Constitution protected the right to have an abortion. See the link here for the statistics. https://christianliferesources.com/2021/01/19/u-s-abortion-statistics-by-year-1973-current/